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Top 10 signs you need to stop being an Uber driver

Discussion in 'Advice' started by Uber Crack, Jul 29, 2017.

  1. Uber Crack

    Uber Crack Well-Known Member

    Location:
    Sacramento
    Driving:
    UberX
    Top 10 signs you need to STOP BEING AN UBER DRIVER...

    10. You stop accepting every ping you get, or canceling the ride if its "too far" for your whiney little butt to drive to.
    9. You stop keeping your car perfectly clean, looking at it and saying, "eh, it can go another day before washing".
    8. You start eating and drinking excessively whilst online to cope with your depression of having whiney Pax who don't rate you 5 stars when it's not even your fault!
    7. You no longer bother to hold your farts in or brush your hair/teeth.
    6. You start making up bull**** stories to tell Pax, like when you were shot in 'Nam, because you're tired of telling them the same story about your life.
    5. You go from wearing nice clothes, to eh these are clean, to clothes off your floor and no undies because well who has time for laundry? Ubering is exhausting man!
    4. You start creeping Pax out for fun, like the huge eyeball mirror stare, telling them you haven't slept for 32 hours solid, you have two prosthetic limbs that sometimes act up....
    3. You start engaging in risky behavior, going into known gang 'hoods playing your rap CD loudly throwing white chick gang signs, with "blow me" written with your finger on your dusty back window.
    2. You start believing the Pax like you. Huge red flag. They don't, they're drunk. You're NOT the best driver they have ever had. Also they don't think you're hot. Only your mom thinks that.
    1. The number one reason to stop being an uber driver... You have to use coins to put gas in enough to get one ride so you can cash out and put gas in for your next ride so you can cash out to get Mc Donald's!
     
  2. Johnydoo

    Johnydoo Well-Known Member

    Location:
    LA
    The story of 99% of uber drivers. You forgot the most important sign:

    11: Sleeping in your car! Heck it is not even your car, aka xchange leasing.
     
  3. Cableguynoe

    Cableguynoe Well-Known Member

    Location:
    831
    Driving:
    UberXL
    Damn. That's 10 solid reasons for me to quit ubering including johnydoo's

    I say only 10 because the first one you listed I did even as a rookie that loved this gig.
    Nice try Lilcindy
     
  4. Mears Troll Number 4

    Mears Troll Number 4 Well-Known Member

    Location:
    Orlando-ish
    Driving:
    Taxi
    number 10 is just simple common knowledge.

    The truth is going 30+ for a ping is pure insanity.

    going 15+ is bad

    going 10+ is ill advised


    This is something THEY TOLD US NOT TO DO at the cab company.

    the truth is the customer probably will get PICKED UP FASTER waiting for a closer driver.
     
  5. Uber Crack

    Uber Crack Well-Known Member

    Location:
    Sacramento
    Driving:
    UberX
    I accept all rides. If I don't want to, I complete my last ride and turn off the app.
     
    Rakos and Terri Lee like this.

  6. Cableguynoe

    Cableguynoe Well-Known Member

    Location:
    831
    Driving:
    UberXL
    Thank you for taking one for the team
     
    RealRain, smoran26, Swerves and 30 others like this.
  7. Trafficat

    Trafficat Well-Known Member

    Location:
    Reno, NV
    You can literally lose money on some pings if you estimate your vehicle costs at 20-30 cents a mile
    Hey it is MY car. Not a lease!
     
    Saltyoldman, Rakos, melusine3 and 9 others like this.
  8. Uber Crack

    Uber Crack Well-Known Member

    Location:
    Sacramento
    Driving:
    UberX
    Trafficat... You don't lose money if you do your taxes right. Also some areas of urban sprawl you have no choice but to accept long distance pick ups or you won't get any rides at all. Sacramento CA is like that. 3 million people with about 6 cities in a Metroplex. You can drive downtown but those rides are $3. Maybe you work in a different area, not sure.

    Not sure if that's sarcasm or not hahaha
     
    Cableguynoe, Rakos and Fuber101 like this.
  9. Lowestformofwit

    Lowestformofwit Well-Known Member

    Location:
    Somewhere over the rainbow
    Driving:
    Livery
    Nice.
    Nothing beats the feeling of sleeping in "your own bed".
    "Home at last"!
     
    Wesley559, Rakos, melusine3 and 7 others like this.
  10. Mears Troll Number 4

    Mears Troll Number 4 Well-Known Member

    Location:
    Orlando-ish
    Driving:
    Taxi

    So you would accept 45 minute + pings when your in an area you know if you wait 10 minutes you'll get one?
     
  11. Uber Crack

    Uber Crack Well-Known Member

    Location:
    Sacramento
    Driving:
    UberX
    I've never had a ping more than 25 minutes and yes I did take it. Sometimes pings for me can be 15 to 20 ... It's the times that I'm available to work. I just deal with it and accept them.
     
    wb6vpm likes this.
  12. Rakos

    Rakos Well-Known Member

    Location:
    Tampa Bay
    Driving:
    UberXL
    Ok...now that you've described...

    What it's like to be married...

    How about the reasoning of some...

    That they just Uber to get out of the house...

    And give their spouse some space...8O

    Does anyone REALLY do that?...

    You better believe it....8)

    Rakos
     
  13. Uber Crack

    Uber Crack Well-Known Member

    Location:
    Sacramento
    Driving:
    UberX
  14. Tr4vis Ka1anick

    Tr4vis Ka1anick Well-Known Member

    What if you brush your farts and hold your hair and teeth?

    I can tell when my farts are relatively benign. Depending on my diet I can gauge the bouquet potency.

    Besides, holding them in can be a safety issue.

    For example behold the church house creeper.

     
  15. Drivincrazy

    Drivincrazy Well-Known Member

    Location:
    Las Vegas, NV
    Driving:
    Lyft
    In heavy traffic, I don't accept 8 minute pings, if ever.
     
    Yam Digger and melusine3 like this.
  16. dirtylee

    dirtylee Well-Known Member

    Location:
    Dallas
    Driving:
    UberX
    10: we do this for profit, GTFO if you aren't
    9: raise rates.
    8: idgaf about ratings anymore
    7: lack of tips & surge will do this
    6: not everyone can be a unique snowflake
    5: conserving water
    4: adding a little spice to their dull little lives
    3: nope
    2: they do like me, the uber driver, who else would drive their ass at these rates
    1: damn if you aren't 100% on that one.
     
  17. Spotscat

    Spotscat Well-Known Member

    Location:
    Columbia, Missouri
    Driving:
    UberXL
    Is driving around while whistling the theme song from "M*A*S*H" a good reason to stop being an Uber driver? :D
     
  18. Cableguynoe

    Cableguynoe Well-Known Member

    Location:
    831
    Driving:
    UberXL
    No. But if you ever start whistling "it's a small world", then you know it's time to walk away.
     
  19. Rakos

    Rakos Well-Known Member

    Location:
    Tampa Bay
    Driving:
    UberXL
    OR...

    You been to Uncle Donald's...

    One too many times...8)

    Rakos
     
    Cableguynoe and Uber Crack like this.
  20. Uber Crack

    Uber Crack Well-Known Member

    Location:
    Sacramento
    Driving:
    UberX
    Or playing Lynyrd Skynyrd, "that smell" when a smelly Pax gets in and not giving a single ****! :cool:
     

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