This Uber makes me feel ALIVE

Tedgey

Well-Known Member
I'm driving around like a dam ant and I get a ping, base rate of course, from Sébastien who calls right away to tell me the last driver was a A-hole that canceled and he's got to get to the airport in 15 minutes and he's in Santa Monica and I'm in Brentwood and I'm like hell yeah you'll make it so I call him and tell him I'm on the corner of Colorado and Ocean and he's like goddammit I'm a block away don't move. So of course I sit through a green light waiting for him and I see him in the rear view mirror walking in traffic lanes dragging his shitty suitcase behind him and I pop the trunk for him and he bangs the out of the trunk and slams it and tells me to go to Pico and turn left to get the freeway so I go to turn left on Olympic because that's where the on ramp actually is and he tells me no I said Pico, I know these streets and I said the on ramp is Olympic and he's all that's right ok and btw, my house burned down the other day and is it cool if I smoke because he was already smoking and reminded me he was in a big hurry.

Screenshot_2017-09-02-07-44-03-1.png


Long story short, I don't NEED the DRUGS any more because I'm HIGH ENERGY NOW! I got him to the airport in time and no tip of course I'm HIGH ENERGY NOW and now I'm sitting in the dam pen like a goddam ant and I feel ALIVE and FREE and I'm HIGH ENERGY NOW
Screenshot_2017-09-02-08-02-22.png


Update: why do DRUGS when u can b HIGH ENERGY! NOW!!!!

Screenshot_2017-09-02-08-18-39.png
 

uberxreallysux

Well-Known Member
I'm driving around like a goddam ant and I get a ping, base rate of course, from Sébastien who calls right away to tell me the last driver was a F'in A-hole that canceled and he's got to get to the airport in 15 minutes and he's in Santa Monica and I'm in Brentwood and I'm like hell yeah you'll make it so I call him and tell him I'm on the corner of Colorado and Ocean and he's like goddammit I'm a block away don't move. So of course I sit through a green light waiting for him and I see him in the rear view mirror walking in traffic lanes dragging his shitty suitcase behind him and I pop the trunk for him and he bangs the eff out of the trunk and slams it and tells me to go to Pico and turn left to get the freeway so I go to turn left on Olympic because that's where the on ramp actually is and he tells me no I said Pico, I know these streets and I said the on ramp is Olympic and he's all that's right ok and btw, my house burned down the other day and is it cool if I smoke because he was already smoking and reminded me he was in a big hurry.

View attachment 154236

Long story short, I don't NEED the DRUGS any more because I'm HIGH ENERGY NOW! I got him to the airport in time and no tip of course I'm HIGH ENERGY NOW and now I'm sitting in the goddam pen like a goddam ant and I feel ALIVE and FREE and I'm HIGH ENERGY NOW!

View attachment 154237

Update: why do DRUGS when u can b HIGH ENERGY! NOW!!!!

View attachment 154239


Damn duck you should just fly south and forget about him
 

TwoFiddyMile

Well-Known Member
I'm driving around like a goddam ant and I get a ping, base rate of course, from Sébastien who calls right away to tell me the last driver was a F'in A-hole that canceled and he's got to get to the airport in 15 minutes and he's in Santa Monica and I'm in Brentwood and I'm like hell yeah you'll make it so I call him and tell him I'm on the corner of Colorado and Ocean and he's like goddammit I'm a block away don't move. So of course I sit through a green light waiting for him and I see him in the rear view mirror walking in traffic lanes dragging his shitty suitcase behind him and I pop the trunk for him and he bangs the eff out of the trunk and slams it and tells me to go to Pico and turn left to get the freeway so I go to turn left on Olympic because that's where the on ramp actually is and he tells me no I said Pico, I know these streets and I said the on ramp is Olympic and he's all that's right ok and btw, my house burned down the other day and is it cool if I smoke because he was already smoking and reminded me he was in a big hurry.

View attachment 154236

Long story short, I don't NEED the DRUGS any more because I'm HIGH ENERGY NOW! I got him to the airport in time and no tip of course I'm HIGH ENERGY NOW and now I'm sitting in the goddam pen like a goddam ant and I feel ALIVE and FREE and I'm HIGH ENERGY NOW!

View attachment 154237

Update: why do DRUGS when u can b HIGH ENERGY! NOW!!!!

View attachment 154239
This is a really good creative writing piece. It's like Charles Bukowski meets Andrew Dice Clay.
Welcome back.
 

mandreyka

Well-Known Member
I'm driving around like a goddam ant and I get a ping, base rate of course, from Sébastien who calls right away to tell me the last driver was a F'in A-hole that canceled and he's got to get to the airport in 15 minutes and he's in Santa Monica and I'm in Brentwood and I'm like hell yeah you'll make it so I call him and tell him I'm on the corner of Colorado and Ocean and he's like goddammit I'm a block away don't move. So of course I sit through a green light waiting for him and I see him in the rear view mirror walking in traffic lanes dragging his shitty suitcase behind him and I pop the trunk for him and he bangs the eff out of the trunk and slams it and tells me to go to Pico and turn left to get the freeway so I go to turn left on Olympic because that's where the on ramp actually is and he tells me no I said Pico, I know these streets and I said the on ramp is Olympic and he's all that's right ok and btw, my house burned down the other day and is it cool if I smoke because he was already smoking and reminded me he was in a big hurry.

View attachment 154236

Long story short, I don't NEED the DRUGS any more because I'm HIGH ENERGY NOW! I got him to the airport in time and no tip of course I'm HIGH ENERGY NOW and now I'm sitting in the goddam pen like a goddam ant and I feel ALIVE and FREE and I'm HIGH ENERGY NOW!

View attachment 154237

Update: why do DRUGS when u can b HIGH ENERGY! NOW!!!!

View attachment 154239
Better you than me
 
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