Our customers can be... Base...

Wayne01

Well-Known Member
Ok Ok before you get your knickers in a knot...
Few can afford Uber Black and many would admit that Taxis have lost the plot in the hygiene department.
Many Uber drivers loose perspective and start to not give a sod with the crazy scoring system with no protection in place...
So I present to you... Customers can be sometimes at best be uneducated Swine...
I was a concierge at a major hotel for many years. I spent quite a while as a porter and would do the occasional shift as a doorman and would love to park cars.
With that in mind. People can hardly use the public toilet with any dignity let alone be expected to get in and out of a car with any grace.
Lets start with the easy ones...
1/ Don't slam the doors - No matter how angry or how much a rebel you are... Doors cost money and ear drums are irreplaceable... I laughed my arse off when a handbag got caught in the door and they slammed it so hard that it bounced off the handbag and hit them in the face... I got a 1 but it was worth it... Yes it chipped the paint work but it was still worth it.
2/ Any bun from Mc D's has fing seeds and crumbs and salt you inbread (misspelt on purpose) You eat, I have to clean. Simple logic ahole. (not to mention greasy fingerprints)
3/ Any cold drink has condensation on the outside that drips. Yet again another cleaning episode...
4/ Thank you for putting your bag that was on the ground on the seat beside you. I am sure you feel more secure knowing you can see it in plain site... I was going to steal it if you put it on the floor or in the boot where it belongs you know.
5/ Dogs - Tip trucks carry less dirt than your apricot poodle who has decided to roll in cow poo... Snookems... I still somehow find hairs weeks later....
6/ Hookers / Pole dancers / Customers - What is up with the glitter? For gods sake. It is some secret message to their wives that they have been out drinking and possibly been unfaithful?
7/ Door handles are there for a reason... I have no idea what it could be... Maybe at a guess to open and close the door? No scrap that. Grab the glass or the edge of the door frame to steady your drunk arse. It is not like the next passenger is going to score me a 1 or anything for having finger prints on the glass or better still a head imprint of grease on the glass.
8/ Girls keep your knees together. if you throw one leg out of the car at a time and you are wearing a dress... The muppet show goes on display... practice it while you are sober and wearing jeans so you don't stuff up when over .05
9/ When a driver opens a door for you... Please let them close it for you as well. Don't rip the door out of their hands like an ogre.
10/ Drivers. If you are on the passenger side... and you want to open the door for your customer. Open both passenger doors and let them choose. Stand next to the front passenger door... Greet the customer with a nod and a smile.
11/ I know the seat behind the driver is statistically the safest seat in the car. I can understand some people wanting to sit there out of fear that the driver will at some point decide to... I have no idea what your idea is that a driver will do and you have the overwhelming urge to hide behind them. But when it is a fully grown man with a over coat on. it is just creepy... Really really weird and creepy. It feels like one of those trust games at a conference where the janitor has the first job out of remand and he is assigned as the person to catch you when you fall... 1 2 3 - we all know that feeling. Having a fully grown male behind you and the rest of the car empty is just weird.
12/ Thank you to the customers who when having spotted your car. Read your number plate just stand there and stare at your car. Like you are supposed to know who they are in the crowd of 50 people... Just a small wave of recognition is not too much to ask? I have even looked at a crowd of 20 people. All have phones next to their ears... I have called the customer as I am pulling up and asked them to wave... They then say "Why" For gods sake are you really that stupid? I don't know? Maybe so I can figure out if you are just some random person staring at my car or my passenger... ?
13/ If you have pissed yourself... Please put a jacket down on the seat first... Enough said...
14/ Do you have a aux cord - Dude you are going 2km to the train station. WTF
15/ I now listen to their story of how UBER made a mistake regarding their pick up point...
Me - Hey Customer... Look at your app... Can you see the pick up point?
Customer - I don't have the app open...
Me - Well please open it... Ok can you see the pick up point...
Customer - But that is not my pick up point...
Me - But that is the one you asked me to come to... Please update the pick up address.
Customer - But I don't know how to... Cant you just come to the third tree on the right - you know the one next to the rock on the side of the road - Every one knows it...
Me - Sure - Not a problem - I am sure the next driver who is more familiar with the trees and the rocks will find you. Maybe something like a landmark with a street name might also help them.
16 / You have child locked me in... No I have drunk locked you in... Similar in action but this way I am saving other humans and not a child...
 

Solarman

Well-Known Member
Pax waving frantically even though they are the only person at this location on the side of the main road - in a NO STANDING / NO STOPPING zone. Not stopping there to pick you up pax. I will do my best to find a legal parking spot as close as possible to you. If not, bye.

As for picking up pax at address or pin, I always go to address. No argument with the actual address as the pin can be quite a distance away.
 

Homebrand Taxi

Well-Known Member
I had a beauty last week. Slightly drunk girl and three friends want the orxx cable. I say: No, what if you play that godawful "r'n'b"? Banter ensues, with much precise dissing by me of said "r'n'b" before I relent. She goes to plug cable in to her phone only to realise that the socket is plugged with silicon. Thank you, universe.
 

Apollo

Well-Known Member
I had a beauty last week. Slightly drunk girl and three friends want the orxx cable. I say: No, what if you play that godawful "r'n'b"? Banter ensues, with much precise dissing by me of said "r'n'b" before I relent. She goes to plug cable in to her phone only to realise that the socket is plugged with silicon. Thank you, universe.
I just say no, full stop.I say no to the aux cable and phone recharger.F... them i'm getting paid peanuts and they want extra's.Give me strength.
 

Homebrand Taxi

Well-Known Member
I just say no, full stop.I say no to the aux cable and phone recharger.F... them i'm getting paid peanuts and they want extra's.Give me strength.
Yep. A couple of weeks earlier a guy on ice got a shock when he asked for the same thing and I just gave him a very firm "no". He remained obedient all the way to and from Maccas when I casually dropped the fact that I had seen lots of Johnny Hoppers in the area prior to picking him up....
 

Apollo

Well-Known Member
I had a couple of bimbo's wanting to watch a dvd on the way from Kent town to the city one night- a distance of a bout 3.5kms. :rolleyes::confused:
Man I hated Uber driving.
I had a couple of bimbo's wanting to watch a dvd on the way from Kent town to the city one night- a distance of a bout 3.5kms. :rolleyes::confused:
Man I hated Uber driving.
Kent?Are you in England.
 

plussizemodel

Active Member
car was in smash and repair for 2 weeks (not uber driving related) when I got my car again I must say can't really be bothered with night driving since then. I did go online once with filter set to home - got a 7 min ping ignored, then same ping 5 min later - 4.31 pax - picked her up only to drop her less than 5 mins later for 1.5 km trip. LOL.
 

Wayne01

Well-Known Member
car was in smash and repair for 2 weeks (not uber driving related) when I got my car again I must say can't really be bothered with night driving since then. I did go online once with filter set to home - got a 7 min ping ignored, then same ping 5 min later - 4.31 pax - picked her up only to drop her less than 5 mins later for 1.5 km trip. LOL.
Sorry to hear that. What insurance and did you have any issues?

My excess is $750 so it was half the price just to get it fixed.
 

Jordan23

Well-Known Member
10/ Drivers. If you are on the passenger side... and you want to open the door for your customer. Open both passenger doors and let them choose. Stand next to the front passenger door... Greet the customer with a nod and a smile.

At less than minimum wage I won't be opening the door for anyone.
 

Apollo

Well-Known Member
Door opening??...

Lol, when the min fare is $150 ,maybe.
Only a malaka would open the door.

Yep. A couple of weeks earlier a guy on ice got a shock when he asked for the same thing and I just gave him a very firm "no". He remained obedient all the way to and from Maccas when I casually dropped the fact that I had seen lots of Johnny Hoppers in the area prior to picking him up....
He remained obedient.It's sounds like you are talking about a dog.lol.
 

Homebrand Taxi

Well-Known Member
Only a malaka would open the door.


He remained obedient.It's sounds like you are talking about a dog.lol.
No, he wasn't a dog. But he understands how to Obey. It says so on his t-shirt He also understands Travisty (sic), No Fear, Sons of Anarchy and that latest addition to the bogan uniform that has crossed axes on the back.
 
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