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Jokes

moe786x

Well-Known Member
How many blackcab drivers does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to screw it in and one to overcharge for the bulb.
 

Nazmul

Member
A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair.

While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain... do whatever he tells you.

Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!"

His wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too!"
Good one
 

YellowVestsUk

Active Member
Volkswagger the 5 speaking of languages driver of empty buses made a detour off the Beaton track and got lost.....

Wandering around the sweltering wild lands he duly stripped off and went starkers through the jungle.....at which point he crossed paths with a big old elephant and the elephant says to dopey bollix......how the hell you gonna feed yourself with that lmfao
 

Abdul shah

Well-Known Member
Kaka, gilga and a2zint walking through the desert. Gilga encounters a goat with its head stuck in a fence. He unbuttons his trousers and rides the goat. When finished looks at the other two with glassy eyes and says your turn. Both get on all fours and put their heads through fence.
 

R.M.Ahmad

Well-Known Member
Uk local councils are worried about dogs' and cats' welfare more than the welfare of babies. They don't let tenants have cats and dogs in council flats but let them to have babies.
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Both get on all fours and put their heads through fence.
Getting on the four must be your own personal experience. Because you are doing it, doesn't mean others do it.
 
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Abdul shah

Well-Known Member
Uk local councils are worried about dogs' and cats' welfare more than the welfare of babies. They don't let tenants have cats and dogs in council flats but let them to have babies.
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Getting on the four must be your own personal experience. Because you are doing it, doesn't mean others do it.
No need to be like that kaka you came out best in that scenario.
 

YellowVestsUk

Active Member
Uk local councils are worried about dogs' and cats' welfare more than the welfare of babies. They don't let tenants have cats and dogs in council flats but let them to have babies.
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Getting on the four must be your own personal experience. Because you are doing it, doesn't mean others do it.
Dogs and cats are not dirty and are very clean and part of our culture over here just like eating pigs and drinking alcohol and having Easter eggs and christmas and an army and a foreign policy and longstanding allies and women who do as they please and wear what they please without being covered from head to toe and allowing our kids to choose who they fall in love with and breed with if they choose and not hitting our wives or chopping up our kids and killing animals as humanly as we can and not killing apostates and blasphemy and it goes on and on


You should try it you might like it
Maybe thsts your fear lmfao
 

Dubs666

Well-Known Member
Dogs and cats are not dirty and are very clean and part of our culture over here just like eating pigs and drinking alcohol and having Easter eggs and christmas and an army and a foreign policy and longstanding allies and women who do as they please and wear what they please without being covered from head to toe and allowing our kids to choose who they fall in love with and breed with if they choose and not hitting our wives or chopping up our kids and killing animals as humanly as we can and not killing apostates and blasphemy and it goes on and on


You should try it you might like it
Maybe thsts your fear lmfao
You forgot to add ur culture is to put ur elders into care homes and not give a @@@@ about them .
 

YellowVestsUk

Active Member
You forgot to add ur culture is to put ur elders into care homes and not give a @@@@ about them .
Wrong. We look after our elderly im afraid you fell for the old line that was always thrown at us by usually immigrants with a chip on there shoulder.

We also have our elderly pay into the system there whole lives too not like the other johnny come lately types who book a one way ticket at 63 needing a new hip and a pension for life having come from the desert....whilst hiding there "many" assets they hold in such places as turkey and such like....


Im reliably informed that a massive proposal to go after such people is gaining traction and will be implemented so if you know someone over here getting full benefits and housing claiming to be an old cripple then you better advise them to sell there offshore assets.....we aint having it no more...our elderly deserve everything free as its A-there country and B- they paid in there whole damn lives




Thanks
 
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