G rated jokes...for those that can't remember most jokes

Rakos

Well-Known Member
I am bad at remembering jokes....

So I thought I would share a couple...

And then others can share....

And then this can be used...

For a joke in a pinch...

I will start...

Three mushrooms walked into a bar...

Barkeep says we don't serve mushrooms here...

The mushrooms spoke up together...

"Don't worry...we are just...

Three Fungis (fun guys)"

Good and bad about grandma bending over in the garden....

Depends!

Ok...next!

Rakos
 

MHR

Well-Known Member
Moderator
Blind guy walks into a bar and starts swinging his guide dog around.

Bartender says 'you can't do that to the dog, that's cruel'.

Blind guy says, 'It's cool, I'm just looking around.'


A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

A bartender walks into a temple, a mosque and a church. He doesn't get the joke.
 

carlosm7

Member
A kid was given a bike as a present and was riding around the block, and his mom watching.
After the first pass around the block:
Look mom, I can ride mi bike without my feet!
After the second pass around the block:
Look mom, without my hands!
After the third pass around the block:
Look mom, without teeth!
 

Spotscat

Well-Known Member
My opthamologist told me this one --

This guy is sitting in his apartment one day, and it looks like it's starting to rain. He goes to the window, opens it, sticks his hand out, and a glass eye lands in his hand! He hears a female voice from above asking him if he'd mind returning the eye.

He goes upstairs, knocks on the door, and a pretty, young woman answers the door. She takes the eye, thanks him, and slips it back into place, then she invites him in.

They talk for a few minutes, and she asks if he'd like a drink. He agrees, they talk some more, and she asks if he'd like to stay for dinner. He agrees, one thing leads to another, and he ends up spending the night.

In the morning, he says, "Let me ask you a question. Are you this open and friendly to all the men you meet?"

And she replies, "No. Just the men who catch my eye."

:biggrin:
 

tohunt4me

Well-Known Member
My opthamologist told me this one --

This guy is sitting in his apartment one day, and it looks like it's starting to rain. He goes to the window, opens it, sticks his hand out, and a glass eye lands in his hand! He hears a female voice from above asking him if he'd mind returning the eye.

He goes upstairs, knocks on the door, and a pretty, young woman answers the door. She takes the eye, thanks him, and slips it back into place, then she invites him in.

They talk for a few minutes, and she asks if he'd like a drink. He agrees, they talk some more, and she asks if he'd like to stay for dinner. He agrees, one thing leads to another, and he ends up spending the night.

In the morning, he says, "Let me ask you a question. Are you this open and friendly to all the men you meet?"

And she replies, "No. Just the men who catch my eye."

:biggrin:
Oldie but Goodie

Poop is on backorder . . .
 

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Rakos

Well-Known Member
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #14
Oldie but Goodie

Poop is on backorder . . .
So this means....

You just can't get your poop together....

Aww come on.....

Never would have figured on you...

Being caught unprepared.....8>O

Rakos
 
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Grahamcracker

Well-Known Member
Moderator
I am bad at remembering jokes....

So I thought I would share a couple...

And then others can share....

And then this can be used...

For a joke in a pinch...

I will start...

Three mushrooms walked into a bar...

Barkeep says we don't serve mushrooms here...

The mushrooms spoke up together...

"Don't worry...we are just...

Three Fungis (fun guys)"

Good and bad about grandma bending over in the garden....

Depends!

Ok...next!

Rakos
There are 3 kinds of people in this world...
Those who are good at math and those who are not

Why did Santa Claus go to college...
So he can improve his wrapping skills

I love you with all my butt...
I would say heart but my butt is bigger

What do the buffalo say to his son when he leaves for college.... bison
 
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