“What’s Uberspeak for Get The ### Out Of My Car?”

PioneerXi

Well-Known Member
I drive a black Chevrolet Equinox. It has plates issued by the California DMV on the front and rear, and those plates are not issued to any other vehicle. The vehicle is fitted with an Uber and Lyft sticker on the front and rear windows.

0886F309-C0FD-495B-BF10-8643BB2C61BB.jpeg


I am a caucasian male, 6 foot tall, short brown hair, and a mustache. When you order an Uber, my photo comes up in the app. It’s a good photo of me too.

I’m also married. My Wife is short, 5 foot tall (in heels), shoulder length natural red/burgundy hair, and has a spectacular chest.

She does not have a mustache.

When the Covid pandemic started, I drove my last passenger on 11 March 2020, as I have the care of a parent susceptible with underlying health conditions. Nothing since.

The University of California, San Diego (UCSD) is one of the largest hospitals in the county. It has an ER, trauma ward, and an separate outpatient entry that you can drive up to and drop someone off.

8DCBF68F-927C-4E6C-908D-A4DF6EA26455.jpeg


Or pick them up.

On the morning of Monday 24 August 2020, the Wife took my vehicle to work, as She had to pick up a friend of the family, a patient of the hospital, at the end of the day. A patient losing to cancer.

The Wife turns into the hospital grounds and pulls up in the loading zone in front of Out Patients. She puts the vehicle in park and before She can turn the engine off, the back door opens.

“Hi, I’m Jake.”

Wife turns around and looks Jake in the eye and says “You’ve got the wrong car, Jake.”

Jake looks down at his phone and then back at my Wife.

“Can’t you take me anyway, you’re an Uber.”

Wife calmly explains that She is not an Uber driver, and asks Jake to exits the car. Jake steps out ...and before he can close the door, a woman holds the door open and asks “Are you my Uber?”

Wife explains that She is not an Uber, and gets some opposition back from the female.

“If you’re not here for me, then why are you here with the Uber signs?”

Wife, recognizing the “entitled millennium” attitude prevalent in so many people says “I’m not your Uber,” and calmly presses the door lock as the woman closes the rear door.

Wife pulls out her cell phone to text the patient that She is present outside the doors, and that She is in my vehicle with extra leg room...and room for their wheelchair.

As She is texting, a second guy (now the third person) comes up to the front passenger door and tries to open the (locked) door. The passenger swings their cell phone around to show Wife the passenger app, and even sitting across the vehicle, She can see that the passengers driver is still three minutes away...in their silver Prius.

“Look at your app, you’ve got the wrong car,” she yells at him without unlocking the doors. The male person turns the cell phone back to themselves, sees the error of their ways, and backs away gesturing an apology.

After texting the patient, Wife reports She sat for about ten minutes waiting for a response. The Patients chemotherapy was wearing Him down so we knew that schedules had to be flexible. During that time Wife had two more people wandering about, heads down looking at their cell phone in the palm of their hand. She watched as they went back and forth before approaching the vehicle and attempting to enter the rear door. Neither of them walked to the driver side to approach my Wife.

With time to spare waiting for the patients, She presses the on board link to telephone me.

“I’m never driving your car again.”

Quickly I run through the back of mind about my car. Oil change not due. AC recharged two weeks ago. Sirius XM reprogrammed so Her favorite station is on the first list of favorites.

“Is there something wrong?” I ask.

“Yeah. Everyone coming out of the hospital thinks I’m their Uber.”

I look at the clock - it 5pm. Both outpatients and business day employees are leaving. I laugh and explain to her that every passenger has at least seven different pieces of information to identify their Uber, including the license plate and the driver photo.

She asks “Then why do they keep coming up to me?”

“Passengers are morons,” I deliver previously unknown information. “There was a young girl who failed to check her Uber’s ID before getting in, and unfortunately lost her life.”

She questions the intelligence of the Human Race by asking “Are people really that stupid?”

“People are morons,” I respond, not missing a beat.

Wife reports on the earlier passengers. At this location, there I is a dedicated Uber/Lyft zone outside this hospital entrance and I ask if She’s parked in it. She reports that She’s not in the zone, but can see that it is about three vehicle spaces in front of her, where a white Honda Accord is parked.

“So, you’re parked between the hospital doors and the Uber zone, near the Vallet podium?” I ask.

“How did you know that,” She inquires.

I’d been there enough on both pick up and drop offs that I said the valet should be getting ready to go home at 5:15pm.

“He just walked off now,” She informed me.

I tell her that the app has dedicated locations to pick up passengers, and that that location where She is parked, is where the app tells passengers their Uber is. It’s not where the actual pick up location is.

“It’s thirty feet. Are you telling me that people won’t walk thirty feet to get into the correct Uber?”

“People are morons,” I tell her again. “They’re so wrapped up in themselves and oblivious to the outside world that they fail to assess the potential threats around them. They will get into a car, any car, thinking that it’s their Uber, because they don’t consider that an Uber could be for anyone but them. And if they’re really entitled, when they realize their error, they’ll respond aggressively - as though it’s your fault.”

I hear the sound of my Wife unlocking the doors of the car, followed by the sound of a door opening. I hear a voice, an voice unknown to me.

“Hi there. Downtown to 5th Avenue please. Take the 5, it’s quicker.”

Another passenger has entered and is giving directions. I already know this is going to go bad.

My Wife turns back to continue our telephone discussion and says “What’s Uberspeak for Get The #### Out Of My Car?”

I paused, confused until She says “Another moron just got into the car.”

“Hey,” the unknown voice responds. “You can’t speak to me like that, I’ll one star you.”

The thing about red heads having a fiery temper- all true. My Wife has the sweetest smile I’ve ever seen, but it hides a savage mouth. I heard profanity, raised voices and at least one threat to tear lungs out, before the door closed and the vehicle was quiet for a moment.

“####, people really are morons,” She said exasperated. “How do you do it?”

“Not like that,” I said.

She continues to report on the last passenger.

“WTF? The guy just got into the white Accord and has left. Your car looks nothing like an Accord.”

I can’t take it further before the hospital staff arrive, our friend in the wheelchair. I stay on the phone as I listen to them load him in the car. He sounds...bad. The Wife gets back in the car and starts it.

“I have the correct passenger,” She announces, and I can hear the calmness back in her voice. We hang up.

When She eventually arrives home, I’m still trying to scheme how I can turn Her next hospital run into cancellation fees.
 

tohunt4me

Well-Known Member
I drive a black Chevrolet Equinox. It has plates issued by the California DMV on the front and rear, and those plates are not issued to any other vehicle. The vehicle is fitted with an Uber and Lyft sticker on the front and rear windows.

View attachment 501995

I am a caucasian male, 6 foot tall, short brown hair, and a mustache. When you order an Uber, my photo comes up in the app. It’s a good photo of me too.

I’m also married. My Wife is short, 5 foot tall (in heels), shoulder length natural red/burgundy hair, and has a spectacular chest.

She does not have a mustache.

When the Covid pandemic started, I drove my last passenger on 11 March 2020, as I have the care of a parent susceptible with underlying health conditions. Nothing since.

The University of California, San Diego (UCSD) is one of the largest hospitals in the county. It has an ER, trauma ward, and an separate outpatient entry that you can drive up to and drop someone off.

View attachment 502017

Or pick them up.

On the morning of Monday 24 August 2020, the Wife took my vehicle to work, as She had to pick up a friend of the family, a patient of the hospital, at the end of the day. A patient losing to cancer.

The Wife turns into the hospital grounds and pulls up in the loading zone in front of Out Patients. She puts the vehicle in park and before She can turn the engine off, the back door opens.

“Hi, I’m Jake.”

Wife turns around and looks Jake in the eye and says “You’ve got the wrong car, Jake.”

Jake looks down at his phone and then back at my Wife.

“Can’t you take me anyway, you’re an Uber.”

Wife calmly explains that She is not an Uber driver, and asks Jake to exits the car. Jake steps out ...and before he can close the door, a woman holds the door open and asks “Are you my Uber?”

Wife explains that She is not an Uber, and gets some opposition back from the female.

“If you’re not here for me, then why are you here with the Uber signs?”

Wife, recognizing the “entitled millennium” attitude prevalent in so many people says “I’m not your Uber,” and calmly presses the door lock as the woman closes the rear door.

Wife pulls out her cell phone to text the patient that She is present outside the doors, and that She is in my vehicle with extra leg room...and room for their wheelchair.

As She is texting, a second guy (now the third person) comes up to the front passenger door and tries to open the (locked) door. The passenger swings their cell phone around to show Wife the passenger app, and even sitting across the vehicle, She can see that the passengers driver is still three minutes away...in their silver Prius.

“Look at your app, you’ve got the wrong car,” she yells at him without unlocking the doors. The male person turns the cell phone back to themselves, sees the error of their ways, and backs away gesturing an apology.

After texting the patient, Wife reports She sat for about ten minutes waiting for a response. The Patients chemotherapy was wearing Him down so we knew that schedules had to be flexible. During that time Wife had two more people wandering about, heads down looking at their cell phone in the palm of their hand. She watched as they went back and forth before approaching the vehicle and attempting to enter the rear door. Neither of them walked to the driver side to approach my Wife.

With time to spare waiting for the patients, She presses the on board link to telephone me.

“I’m never driving your car again.”

Quickly I run through the back of mind about my car. Oil change not due. AC recharged two weeks ago. Sirius XM reprogrammed so Her favorite station is on the first list of favorites.

“Is there something wrong?” I ask.

“Yeah. Everyone coming out of the hospital thinks I’m their Uber.”

I look at the clock - it 5pm. Both outpatients and business day employees are leaving. I laugh and explain to her that every passenger has at least seven different pieces of information to identify their Uber, including the license plate and the driver photo.

She asks “Then why do they keep coming up to me?”

“Passengers are morons,” I deliver previously unknown information. “There was a young girl who failed to check her Uber’s ID before getting in, and unfortunately lost her life.”

She questions the intelligence of the Human Race by asking “Are people really that stupid?”

“People are morons,” I respond, not missing a beat.

Wife reports on the earlier passengers. At this location, there I is a dedicated Uber/Lyft zone outside this hospital entrance and I ask if She’s parked in it. She reports that She’s not in the zone, but can see that it is about three vehicle spaces in front of her, where a white Honda Accord is parked.

“So, you’re parked between the hospital doors and the Uber zone, near the Vallet podium?” I ask.

“How did you know that,” She inquires.

I’d been there enough on both pick up and drop offs that I said the valet should be getting ready to go home at 5:15pm.

“He just walked off now,” She informed me.

I tell her that the app has dedicated locations to pick up passengers, and that that location where She is parked, is where the app tells passengers their Uber is. It’s not where the actual pick up location is.

“It’s thirty feet. Are you telling me that people won’t walk thirty feet to get into the correct Uber?”

“People are morons,” I tell her again. “They’re so wrapped up in themselves and oblivious to the outside world that they fail to assess the potential threats around them. They will get into a car, any car, thinking that it’s their Uber, because they don’t consider that an Uber could be for anyone but them. And if they’re really entitled, when they realize their error, they’ll respond aggressively - as though it’s your fault.”

I hear the sound of my Wife unlocking the doors of the car, followed by the sound of a door opening. I hear a voice, an voice unknown to me.

“Hi there. Downtown to 5th Avenue please. Take the 5, it’s quicker.”

Another passenger has entered and is giving directions. I already know this is going to go bad.

My Wife turns back to continue our telephone discussion and says “What’s Uberspeak for Get The #### Out Of My Car?”

I paused, confused until She says “Another moron just got into the car.”

“Hey,” the unknown voice responds. “You can’t speak to me like that, I’ll one star you.”

The thing about red heads having a fiery temper- all true. My Wife has the sweetest smile I’ve ever seen, but it hides a savage mouth. I heard profanity, raised voices and at least one threat to tear lungs out, before the door closed and the vehicle was quiet for a moment.

“####, people really are morons,” She said exasperated. “How do you do it?”

“Not like that,” I said.

She continues to report on the last passenger.

“WTF? The guy just got into the white Accord and has left. Your car looks nothing like an Accord.”

I can’t take it further before the hospital staff arrive, our friend in the wheelchair. I stay on the phone as I listen to them load him in the car. He sounds...bad. The Wife gets back in the car and starts it.

“I have the correct passenger,” She announces, and I can hear the calmness back in her voice. We hang up.

When She eventually arrives home, I’m still trying to scheme how I can turn Her next hospital run into cancellation fees.
" One Way or the Other . . .
Your Ride Ends NOW " !
Screenshot_2020-08-25-01-09-06.png

Post automatically merged:

I drive a black Chevrolet Equinox. It has plates issued by the California DMV on the front and rear, and those plates are not issued to any other vehicle. The vehicle is fitted with an Uber and Lyft sticker on the front and rear windows.

View attachment 501995

I am a caucasian male, 6 foot tall, short brown hair, and a mustache. When you order an Uber, my photo comes up in the app. It’s a good photo of me too.

I’m also married. My Wife is short, 5 foot tall (in heels), shoulder length natural red/burgundy hair, and has a spectacular chest.

She does not have a mustache.

When the Covid pandemic started, I drove my last passenger on 11 March 2020, as I have the care of a parent susceptible with underlying health conditions. Nothing since.

The University of California, San Diego (UCSD) is one of the largest hospitals in the county. It has an ER, trauma ward, and an separate outpatient entry that you can drive up to and drop someone off.

View attachment 502017

Or pick them up.

On the morning of Monday 24 August 2020, the Wife took my vehicle to work, as She had to pick up a friend of the family, a patient of the hospital, at the end of the day. A patient losing to cancer.

The Wife turns into the hospital grounds and pulls up in the loading zone in front of Out Patients. She puts the vehicle in park and before She can turn the engine off, the back door opens.

“Hi, I’m Jake.”

Wife turns around and looks Jake in the eye and says “You’ve got the wrong car, Jake.”

Jake looks down at his phone and then back at my Wife.

“Can’t you take me anyway, you’re an Uber.”

Wife calmly explains that She is not an Uber driver, and asks Jake to exits the car. Jake steps out ...and before he can close the door, a woman holds the door open and asks “Are you my Uber?”

Wife explains that She is not an Uber, and gets some opposition back from the female.

“If you’re not here for me, then why are you here with the Uber signs?”

Wife, recognizing the “entitled millennium” attitude prevalent in so many people says “I’m not your Uber,” and calmly presses the door lock as the woman closes the rear door.

Wife pulls out her cell phone to text the patient that She is present outside the doors, and that She is in my vehicle with extra leg room...and room for their wheelchair.

As She is texting, a second guy (now the third person) comes up to the front passenger door and tries to open the (locked) door. The passenger swings their cell phone around to show Wife the passenger app, and even sitting across the vehicle, She can see that the passengers driver is still three minutes away...in their silver Prius.

“Look at your app, you’ve got the wrong car,” she yells at him without unlocking the doors. The male person turns the cell phone back to themselves, sees the error of their ways, and backs away gesturing an apology.

After texting the patient, Wife reports She sat for about ten minutes waiting for a response. The Patients chemotherapy was wearing Him down so we knew that schedules had to be flexible. During that time Wife had two more people wandering about, heads down looking at their cell phone in the palm of their hand. She watched as they went back and forth before approaching the vehicle and attempting to enter the rear door. Neither of them walked to the driver side to approach my Wife.

With time to spare waiting for the patients, She presses the on board link to telephone me.

“I’m never driving your car again.”

Quickly I run through the back of mind about my car. Oil change not due. AC recharged two weeks ago. Sirius XM reprogrammed so Her favorite station is on the first list of favorites.

“Is there something wrong?” I ask.

“Yeah. Everyone coming out of the hospital thinks I’m their Uber.”

I look at the clock - it 5pm. Both outpatients and business day employees are leaving. I laugh and explain to her that every passenger has at least seven different pieces of information to identify their Uber, including the license plate and the driver photo.

She asks “Then why do they keep coming up to me?”

“Passengers are morons,” I deliver previously unknown information. “There was a young girl who failed to check her Uber’s ID before getting in, and unfortunately lost her life.”

She questions the intelligence of the Human Race by asking “Are people really that stupid?”

“People are morons,” I respond, not missing a beat.

Wife reports on the earlier passengers. At this location, there I is a dedicated Uber/Lyft zone outside this hospital entrance and I ask if She’s parked in it. She reports that She’s not in the zone, but can see that it is about three vehicle spaces in front of her, where a white Honda Accord is parked.

“So, you’re parked between the hospital doors and the Uber zone, near the Vallet podium?” I ask.

“How did you know that,” She inquires.

I’d been there enough on both pick up and drop offs that I said the valet should be getting ready to go home at 5:15pm.

“He just walked off now,” She informed me.

I tell her that the app has dedicated locations to pick up passengers, and that that location where She is parked, is where the app tells passengers their Uber is. It’s not where the actual pick up location is.

“It’s thirty feet. Are you telling me that people won’t walk thirty feet to get into the correct Uber?”

“People are morons,” I tell her again. “They’re so wrapped up in themselves and oblivious to the outside world that they fail to assess the potential threats around them. They will get into a car, any car, thinking that it’s their Uber, because they don’t consider that an Uber could be for anyone but them. And if they’re really entitled, when they realize their error, they’ll respond aggressively - as though it’s your fault.”

I hear the sound of my Wife unlocking the doors of the car, followed by the sound of a door opening. I hear a voice, an voice unknown to me.

“Hi there. Downtown to 5th Avenue please. Take the 5, it’s quicker.”

Another passenger has entered and is giving directions. I already know this is going to go bad.

My Wife turns back to continue our telephone discussion and says “What’s Uberspeak for Get The #### Out Of My Car?”

I paused, confused until She says “Another moron just got into the car.”

“Hey,” the unknown voice responds. “You can’t speak to me like that, I’ll one star you.”

The thing about red heads having a fiery temper- all true. My Wife has the sweetest smile I’ve ever seen, but it hides a savage mouth. I heard profanity, raised voices and at least one threat to tear lungs out, before the door closed and the vehicle was quiet for a moment.

“####, people really are morons,” She said exasperated. “How do you do it?”

“Not like that,” I said.

She continues to report on the last passenger.

“WTF? The guy just got into the white Accord and has left. Your car looks nothing like an Accord.”

I can’t take it further before the hospital staff arrive, our friend in the wheelchair. I stay on the phone as I listen to them load him in the car. He sounds...bad. The Wife gets back in the car and starts it.

“I have the correct passenger,” She announces, and I can hear the calmness back in her voice. We hang up.

When She eventually arrives home, I’m still trying to scheme how I can turn Her next hospital run into cancellation fees.
P.S. - " TradeDress" has NEVER been affixed to my car.
Cell phone is NEVER mounted where it can be seen from outside.

Uber sticker is in bottom of glove compartment in case i ever do an airport pickup again.

My thing was airport drop offs.

1 3 minute rides for $25.00
 
Last edited:

Kurt Halfyard

Well-Known Member
Author
Moderator
I took the 'trade dress' (i.e. stickers/amp/beacons) off my car about a year ago, and can comfortably operate Uber & Lyft without them. And when I'm parked in my workplace, or in a mall with the APP OFF, it doesn't give the impression that i'm lurking or camping in the parking lot. Problem solved. I've even been inspected by local bylaw officers with the app running. They don't care about the Trade Dress, only that the lights, signals and seatbelts are all in good working order, or that Winter Tires are on the vehicle between Nov-April.
 

tohunt4me

Well-Known Member
I took the 'trade dress' (i.e. stickers/amp/beacons) off my car about a year ago, and can comfortably operate Uber & Lyft without them. And when I'm parked in my workplace, or in a mall with the APP OFF, it doesn't give the impression that i'm lurking or camping in the parking lot. Problem solved. I've even been inspected by local bylaw officers with the app running. They don't care about the Trade Dress, only that the lights, signals and seatbelts are all in good working order, or that Winter Tires are on the vehicle between Nov-April.
" UNMARKED UBER"
 

Stevie The magic Unicorn

Well-Known Member
A girl I was dating a few years ago maced someone who jumped into her car at a red light in downtown Orlando. Then while he was twitching she threw him out of the car onto the pavement and drove off a few blocks and called 911.

You guys know why the guy jumped in....

And why she maced him.

He thought she was Uber driver, and she thought she was getting carjacked.

No Uber stickers on her car at all.
 

MHR

Well-Known Member
Moderator
My Wife turns back to continue our telephone discussion and says “What’s Uberspeak for Get The #### Out Of My Car?”

I paused, confused until She says “Another moron just got into the car.”

“Hey,” the unknown voice responds. “You can’t speak to me like that, I’ll one star you.”

I heard profanity, raised voices and at least one threat to tear lungs out, before the door closed and the vehicle was quiet for a moment.

“####, people really are morons,” She said exasperated. “How do you do it?”

“Not like that,” I said.
:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:

Priceless.
 

Young Kim

Well-Known Member
You should see this video I just ran across of someone who would not get out of the Uber! Start YouTube video at 7:00. The Uber driver TOTALLY loses it! Calls the pax a "@@@@"!

 

25rides7daysaweek

Well-Known Member
You should see this video I just ran across of someone who would not get out of the Uber! Start YouTube video at 7:00. The Uber driver TOTALLY loses it! Calls the pax a "@@@@"!

That guy in the middle video really handled that situation horribly
He should have just told them he accidentally cancelled the trip and had no way to fix it
There's really never a reason to escalate the situation to that level
I really wouldn't be surprised if he got deactivated because of that
If you don't want pool rides you shouldn't be accepting them
 

Christinebitg

Well-Known Member
She questions the intelligence of the Human Race by asking “Are people really that stupid?”
Yes, we've known that at my house for a number of years. I'm surprised she's just figuring it out now.

What's the right answer? How could she get people out of (your) car? ...

I prefer the approach from the book "When I Say 'No,' I Feel Guilty. That is to say, assertiveness techniques. There are several good ones.

I think in this case, I'd select the technique "Broken Record." I'm guessing you're younger than me, so you may not remember vinyl music albums:

In some cases, the needle would skip back a groove, and repeat the same music over and over and over.

Wife: "Sorry, I'm not your Uber."

Patient: "Can't you just take me anyway?"

Wife: "Sorry, I'm not your Uber."

Same Patient: "But I really need a ride."

Wife: "Sorry, I'm not your Uber."

Doesn't matter how many iterations it takes. Continue until the person wanders off or leaves in a huff, whichever comes first. She wasn't going to go anywhere anyhow, right?

The key to this one is to not escalate it. (Yes, I know this is tough for redheads. Check my profile picture if in doubt.) But its effectiveness is partly _because_ you don't escalate.
 

Young Kim

Well-Known Member
That guy in the middle video really handled that situation horribly
He should have just told them he accidentally cancelled the trip and had no way to fix it
There's really never a reason to escalate the situation to that level
I really wouldn't be surprised if he got deactivated because of that
If you don't want pool rides you shouldn't be accepting them
@25rides7daysaweek my friend, I totally agree with you! There was NO need to escalate that situation. You basically get what you give in these situations. This cost him a lot of time, grief, and maybe you are right that he may have been deactivated! You can't call a female passenger the "C" word!!
 

2JoshH

Well-Known Member
A girl I was dating a few years ago maced someone who jumped into her car at a red light in downtown Orlando. Then while he was twitching she threw him out of the car onto the pavement and drove off a few blocks and called 911.
“While twitching she threw him out” 😂 🤣👍
What’s your boyfriend’s name?
 

Kurt Halfyard

Well-Known Member
Author
Moderator
That guy in the middle video really handled that situation horribly
He should have just told them he accidentally cancelled the trip and had no way to fix it
There's really never a reason to escalate the situation to that level
I really wouldn't be surprised if he got deactivated because of that
If you don't want pool rides you shouldn't be accepting them
Agreed.
De-escalation is the name of the game.
Just wait in silence.
Call the police and wait.
Stop engaging with drunk people.
That woman was awful to. This what happens when two awful people are obstinate with each other.
 

Wildgoose

Well-Known Member
While I was reading OP's wife's story, in my imagination, there were zombies approaching your wife to get a ride.
First I thought was that you were picturing how your wife was hunted by ghosts at hospital zone. :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:
 
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